Frontiers of Adulting: Joint Bank Accounts for the Fiercely Independent

How do you share money with someone after years of only saving and spending for yourself?


Calculate the total financial needs of your household for the month…we included things like mortgage payments, insurance payments, groceries and household miscellany, dog walkers, dog needs, a going-out-to-dinner fund, cable, electric, gas, Netfix…all of the stuff you share. Now, split it according to your individual monthly earnings. (Be sensitive if there’s a massive income gap between the two of you…you’re trying to lessen any possible resentments and make things smoother in the end.)

Out of Sight, Peace of Mind

Next, set up direct deposit with your company, funnel your household expenses into your joint account and the rest into your personal account. Saving and contributing money is always easier when you don’t see it first.

Live Independently, but Grow Together

Do you know what happens now? You both have access to that joint account and instead of playing who-paid-for-this-last-time, you just both dip into that account for the household needs. Suddenly, things like resentment, tallying up who paid for what, and all that unnecessary stress flies out the window while still giving you your own personal pool of money to pull from for surprise gifts for each other because you’re relationship just got SO MUCH EASIER!



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Nami Matsuo

She/Her. INFJ. Japanese American Womxn. Mother. Daughter. Sister. Ally. Avid Complainer & Optimist.